by Melchor Vergara
As Juan Ponce Enrile marks his centennial milestone on the peculiar confluence of Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday, the world marvels at his seemingly immortal existence.
While some may attribute his longevity to genetics or dark deals made at the stroke of midnight, the true secret apparently lies in his diet – a daily indulgence in Delimondo corned beef, conveniently owned by the Enrile family.
One can’t help but wonder if there’s a fountain of youth hidden in each can, or if there’s a mystical incantation whispered over every can. It seems that while mere mortals struggle with kale smoothies and quinoa salads, Enrile thrives on the processed meats of his own making.
As rumors swirl about the miraculous properties of Delimondo, perhaps other public figures should take note. Could Martin Andanar’s switch from Pure Foods to Delimondo spell the difference between mundane mortality and the ethereal eternity of Enrile?
Only time, and perhaps a hearty serving of corned beef, will tell.
Davao City Mayor Baste Duterte’s call for President Bongbong Marcos to resign has added a new act to the spectacle. It’s quite the spectacle when one political scion points fingers at another.
But let’s not lose sight of the irony here. While Mayor Duterte is quick to pass judgment, perhaps he should glance at his own backyard first. Davao City might boast about its urbanization, but it also leads in another less flattering statistic: family poverty incidence. Under Baste’s watch, this figure has seen a not-so-glamorous rise.
So, before urging others to step down, perhaps Mayor Duterte should consider following his own advice. Dabawenos, it’s time to wake up and smell the durian. Elect leaders based on merit, not merely by the familiarity of their last names. After all, a rose by any other name might just wilt under scrutiny.
The Adobo Chronicles 
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