Category Archives: Music

REPUBLICANS, DEMOCRATS TRY MUSIC DIPLOMACY IN GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN STANDOFF

Carrie Underwood
Carrie Underwood

Washington, D.C. – Politicians have tried it all — including “beer diplomacy” — to settle their differences, especially those that are entrenched along party lines.  This time, Republicans and Democrats are trying something different, weeks after negotiations continue to fail over ending the government shutdown. They are using music!

At its caucus meeting this morning, the Republican Party invited Grammy Award-winner Carrie Underwood, a registered Republican, to open their session with the song “Amazing Grace.”  The Republicans skipped the usual prayer invocation. A source who was present at the closed-door meeting told The Adobo Chronicles that Carrie’s rendition of this religious classic seemed to have greatly inspired the caucus members to keep on fighting to advance their anti-Obamacare agenda as the primary negotiating point in the budget battle.

The Dixie Chicks
The Dixie Chicks

On the other side of the aisle, the Democrats, meeting at the Rose Garden of The White House to strategize their next move on the government shutdown, invited the Dixie Chicks to open their meeting.  The Grammy Award-winning trio gained notoriety when they criticized George W. Bush  during a 2003 concert in London.  At the concert, they said they were “ashamed” that the President was from Texas. The trio also hails from the Lone Star State.  As soon as the Dixie Chicks began their opening hit song, Democrats roared in approval and applause.  The song? “Not Ready to Make Nice.”

Judging from the musical strategies of either party, there seems to be no immediate end in sight for the government shutdown.

REASON FOR JONAS BROTHERS’ CANCELLED TOUR REVEALED

imageHollywood, California – The Jonas Brothers are canceling their tour – two days before it was set to begin, it was reported today. “There is a deep rift within the band,” their spokesman, Jesse Derris, said. “There was a big a disagreement over their music direction.”

Over the weekend, an argument among the trio – Nick, 21, Joe, 24, and Kevin, 25 – regarding the direction of the band and its music led to the decision to cancel their 19-date tour, which was to kick off Friday.
Over the last few years, the brothers have each pursued other projects. Nick and Joe released solo albums and pursued acting careers while Kevin and his wife Danielle have starred in their own reality series, E!’s Married to Jonas.
However, The Adobo Chronicles, in an exclusive interview with one of the brothers, learned about the real reason behind the disagreement.  This brother agreed to the interview on the condition that he not be identified .
The three brothers all sport mustaches and beards and they all felt that only one of them should do so during the entire concert tour.  “None of us was willing to shave,” said this Jonas brother, “so we ended up deciding to cancel our tour.”

MTV’S PORNO VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS

Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus

New York, New York – Millions of viewers got the shock of their lives Sunday night as MTV’s 2013 Video Music Awards unfolded on their televisions screens. Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga competed for the night’s most coveted  title of “porno queen,” a new award category begun this year by the music video channel.

Lady Gaga opened the program dressed in a white nun’s habit and square headdress.  At first the audience didn’t care much for her appearance, as evidenced by boos heard over the sound system.  But before her song, “Applause” came to an end, the crowd roared as she stripped down to a thong bikini and sea shell bras.  Not to be outdone, former teen idol Miley Cyrus didn’t bother to cover up right from the beginning of her number, “Blurred Lines,” with Robin Thicke.  She quickly stripped to a flesh-colored bikini, shook her bootie, stuck her tongue out and pointed a giant foam finger at  her and Thicke’s private parts.

Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga

The winner was not announced until after the telecast because the judges couldn’t decide on who was the better porno queen.  MTV had to rely on Twitter comments to make its final decision.  The verdict? Miley Cyrus wins.

MTV announced that beginning next year, it will also hand out a “porno king” award.  Because of the excitement generated by last night’s show, the network is reportedly contemplating on changing the official name of awards to MTV Porno Video Music Awards.