In a groundbreaking move, the Philippine Congress has dared to legalize divorce, much to the chagrin of the ever-vigilant Catholic Bishops Conference and supposedly devout Catholics.

For decades, the Philippines has proudly stood as the lone bastion against divorce, holding fast to the idea that marriages should be indissoluble, regardless of whether the couple can even stand each other. 

Meanwhile, Filipinos have turned celebrity breakups into a national pastime, eagerly following every scandalous detail without the inconvenience of a legal marriage. 

It’s a wonder the CBCP hasn’t realized: nothing screams devout commitment quite like a populace obsessed with the romantic entanglements of their favorite stars. 

As for those ardent Catholics protesting the bill, perhaps they should take comfort in the idea that not every union is made in heaven—some are quite literally a match made in hell. 

So, cheers to Congress for modernizing the law and acknowledging that not all love stories have a happily ever after ending.