Category Archives: International

The All-Knowing UN Rapporteur

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Ah, the UN Rapporteur, the globe-trotting superhero with a cape made of recommendations. 

Irene Khan swoops into the Philippines like a peace-preaching oracle, urging the government to abolish the NTF-Elcac. Because who needs a national task force against communist insurgency when we can just sit around a cozy negotiation table and discuss our differences over chamomile tea?

Clearly, Khan’s brief visit turned her into an instant expert on Philippine affairs. Forget about the complexities of history, politics, and national policies – she’s got it all figured out in a few days. Perhaps we should nominate her for a crash course Nobel Prize.

Of course, we mustn’t forget that the Philippines is a sovereign state, not some international puppet to dance to Khan’s symphony of recommendations. But hey, why not let her play director in our domestic drama? After all, nothing says “peaceful negotiation” like a foreign expert dropping by with a laundry list of demands. 

Let’s just ignore it, shall we? Because who needs well-thought-out solutions when you can have a diplomatic game of hide and seek?

An Open Letter To Liza Araneta Marcos

Dear Mrs. Liza Araneta Marcos,

As an avid observer of your public appearances, I couldn’t help but notice the subtle challenge of balancing your Araneta charisma with the prestigious Marcos legacy. 

While we understand the struggles of maintaining composure, especially in the spotlight, might I suggest a delightful transition to embodying more of a Marcos than an Araneta?

Your newfound role as the Philippines’ First Lady comes with the responsibility of being the face of our nation. It’s understandable that emotions and tantrums are beyond our control, but perhaps channeling a bit more of the stoicism associated with the Marcos name could enhance the public image. After all, we don’t want our First Lady’s disdain for fellow officials to be broadcast like a telenovela.

Think of it as a diplomatic performance, much like the one you effortlessly put on during foreign visits. It’s not about snubbing or embracing, but about striking that perfect balance that befits the esteemed position you hold. 

We eagerly await the day you embrace the full potential of being the Philippines’ First Lady, embodying both poise and grace.

Yours In Unity,

A Concerned Spectator

ICC Investigation: A Presumption Of Guilt From Harry Roque And Senator Ronald Bato?

In the theater of absurdity that is the defense of Rodrigo Duterte against ICC charges, it seems some key players are confusing the script. 

While the rest of us are waiting for the curtain to rise on a fair trial, former Duterte spokesperson Harry Roque and Senator Ronald “Bato” are already giving Oscar-worthy performances in presumption of guilt. It’s as if they’re rehearsing for a dystopian courtroom drama where the verdict is already written, and they’re just practicing their lines.

Roque’s preemptive doubts about Filipinos accepting their former president behind bars and Bato’s melodramatic fear of incarceration make one wonder if they’ve mistaken the courtroom for a psychic hotline. Last we checked, no convictions were handed down, no warrants issued, yet they seem to have a crystal ball that foretells an ominous future. 

Perhaps a crash course in legal basics is in order before they continue their over-the-top act of defending the indefensible.