MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila bureau) – Malacanang has announced that President Rodrigo Duterte will take three days off from his very hectic schedule to rest while rumors point to Vice President Leni Robredo as having contracted the dreaded foot and mouth disease.

Foot and mouth disease doesn’t usually affect humans — only cattle — but Robredo must have been exposed to a mutant strain.

The rumors started to spread on social media after a CNN interview with Speaker Alan Peter Cayetano who was asked if he thinks Robredo started on the wrong foot upon her designation as Drug Czar.

Cayetano replied, “She started on the wrong mouth.”

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Health Secretary Francisco Duque III said that all public hospitals will be on “Code White” alert in preparation for any possible emergencies that may happen during the annual observance of All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day this weekend. The commemoration is known locally as UNDAS.

Code White means those who are off duty are on-call for any emergency situations.

In addition, Duque urged all hospitals, public and private, to be on “Code Yellow” in anticipation of possible mental lapses or breakdowns by members of the political opposition.

Responding to a question by The Adobo Chronicles, Duque said symptoms of mental emergency include clueless and incoherent public statements by the Yellows such as those recently attributed to Vice President Leni Robredo, Senator Kiko Pangilinan, Florin Hilbay, JC Punongbayan and Leah Navarro.

The public is urged to report any Yellows exhibiting the above symptoms to the DOH UNDAS hotline immediately.