Category Archives: Food

Is Delimondo Corned Beef The Secret To JPE’s Long Life?

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by Melchor Vergara

As Juan Ponce Enrile marks his centennial milestone on the peculiar confluence of Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday, the world marvels at his seemingly immortal existence. 

While some may attribute his longevity to genetics or dark deals made at the stroke of midnight, the true secret apparently lies in his diet – a daily indulgence in Delimondo corned beef, conveniently owned by the Enrile family. 

One can’t help but wonder if there’s a fountain of youth hidden in each can, or if there’s a mystical incantation whispered over every can. It seems that while mere mortals struggle with kale smoothies and quinoa salads, Enrile thrives on the processed meats of his own making. 

As rumors swirl about the miraculous properties of Delimondo, perhaps other public figures should take note. Could Martin Andanar’s switch from Pure Foods to Delimondo spell the difference between mundane mortality and the ethereal eternity of Enrile? 

Only time, and perhaps a hearty serving of corned beef, will tell.

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When You Make It About Corned Beef, You Lose The Argument!

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In the grand spectacle of political dodgeball, Martin Andanar’s response to Katrina Ponce Enrile’s allegations resembles a comedic stumble rather than a graceful dodge. 

While dismissing the accusations as “fake news” might initially seem a strategic move, veering into a tangent about corned beef, specifically the Enriles’ Delimondo brand, is a perplexing choice that only adds flavor to the absurdity.

In a world where serious allegations demand concrete evidence, Andanar’s pivot to canned meat as a rebuttal falls flat. It’s akin to bringing a spoon to a sword fight. By shifting the focus away from the crux of the matter—his alleged ties to Beijing and funding of Filipino vloggers with Chinese money—Andanar inadvertently amplifies the skepticism surrounding his response.

In the theater of public opinion, credibility is currency, and Andanar’s gambit seems to have squandered it rather than bolstered it. 

If this were a court of law, the burden of proof rests on the accuser, but in the court of public perception, Andanar’s antics leave him looking more like a clown than a statesman. 

Let’s hope the next act brings more substance and less canned responses.