In a move that can only be described as visionary, the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) has decided that what the bustling metropolis truly needs is an MMFF (Metro Manila Film Festival) Auditorium. Because clearly, amidst the chaos of traffic, the symphony of car horns, and the ballet of illegally parked vehicles, what the people of Metro Manila have been yearning for is a dedicated space to showcase annually recycled slapstick blockbusters.

One might argue that there are already numerous venues available for such cinematic revelry, both public and private. But who needs logic when you can have an exclusive, taxpayer-funded auditorium that serves as a testament to the city’s priorities? Forget about bike lanes, footbridges, garbage cleanup, and traffic solutions; what the people really want is a monument to the pinnacle of Pinoy cinema—festive films that, once a year, unite the masses in an unparalleled celebration of mediocrity.

Because in a city grappling with real issues, what could be more essential than a shrine to the annual pageantry of cinematic absurdity? Clearly, the MMDA knows what the people truly need.