Senator Bong Revilla, famed thespian of both action movies and plunder trials, has now declared his next heroic mission: hunting down the netizens who allegedly sabotaged his election dreams. Apparently, it wasn’t the ghost of PDAF past or his courtroom cameos that hurt his campaign—it was TikTok memes and spicy Facebook comments.

Armed with a sword of justice and a VFX-heavy budget, he’s gearing up for Bong vs. Keyboard Warriors: The Sequel Nobody Asked For. One can only imagine him scrolling through Twitter, shouting “Aha!” every time someone posts, “Bakit siya tumakbo uli?” The senator says he’s seeking accountability, but some suspect he’s just mad he can’t block voters in real life.

Meanwhile, social media users are scrambling—not out of fear, but to make popcorn. Because when politics meets petty, and memes become a threat to democracy, you know you’re living in peak Philippine satire.