In an unprecedented twist of Philippine politics, Rodrigo Duterte has won Davao City’s mayoral race by a landslide—despite being, well, incarcerated in The Hague.

But who says you can’t lead a city from a 5×8 cell in a high-security international facility? With today’s remote work culture, Mayor Duterte is pioneering WFH: Warden From Home.

Plans are underway to relocate Davao City Hall to The Hague, with Zoom meetings held between prison lockdowns and ICC interrogations.

Meanwhile, son Basté, the accidental vice mayor, is reportedly confused whether he’s acting mayor, understudy mayor, or just holding the clipboard while Dad yells orders from Europe.

Dabawenyos remain unfazed. “At least traffic’s still the same,” one commuter shrugged. International human rights lawyers are reportedly filing motions to mute Duterte’s microphone during council sessions. But in true Duterte fashion, he simply responded, “Who needs a mic when you can curse loud enough to reach Mindanao?”