Ah, the classic tale of giving a finger and losing your whole arm—Filipino edition!

After years of chanting “P20 rice or we riot,” critics are now whining that it looks like animal feed. Hello? That’s rice, not imported jasmine-scented unicorn grains. Our farmers worked their calloused hands to the bone, and now you’re calling their harvest pig chow? Manners, please!

And just when we thought it couldn’t get any sillier, here comes blogger Mark Anthony Lopez demanding P20 per can of SPAM. What’s next? P15 Starbucks lattes? Buy-one-take-one lechon? The man wants luxury luncheon meat at palengke prices. Let’s be real—SPAM is basically the Louis Vuitton of canned goods. If we get that for P20, I expect foie gras in carinderias by June. It’s satire at its finest, folks. The bar for political critique is so low, we’re tripping over it on our way to the rice aisle.