Filipinos’ unwavering devotion to their Tatay Digong has reached international levels—quite literally.

In their fervent attempt to defend the former president from the International Criminal Court (ICC), they’ve bombarded Nicholas Kaufmann with messages of support, threats, and perhaps the occasional “pa-burger ka naman.” The only problem? They got the wrong guy.

The real Duterte lawyer, Nicholas Kaufman (with one “n”), is probably deep in legal paperwork, while Nicholas Kaufmann (with two “n”s), an innocent author, is left wondering why a horde of passionate Filipinos is flooding his inbox. His plea? “Guys, I’m not a lawyer. Stop asking me to fight the ICC. Also, I don’t even like adobo.”

Filipinos are known for their online detective skills, yet here we are—mistaking a novelist for an international lawyer. Maybe before defending Duterte, we should first learn to spell his lawyer’s name right. Priorities, mga kababayan!