Rodrigo Duterte, the man who once claimed he couldn’t afford a plane ticket from Davao to Manila, has miraculously found himself in Hong Kong. Maybe Cebu Pacific had a piso fare? Or perhaps he hitched a ride on Quiboloy’s private jet, the one presumably fueled by divine intervention and love offerings.

Of course, Duterte insists this is just a harmless campaign visit, not an attempt to dodge an ICC warrant. Because, obviously, if you were avoiding arrest, you’d go to a place where international law actually works, right? Genius.

But let’s not overthink his sudden financial recovery. After all, isn’t he the administrator of Quiboloy’s celestial ATM? It seems the heavens have opened their vaults—hallelujah! Meanwhile, back in the Philippines, regular folks are stuck choosing between buying rice or paying for a jeepney ride. If only they, too, had access to divine frequent flyer miles!