Donald Trump, ever the showman, made history once again—not for a wall, but for a whirlwind. 

Within hours of retaking the Oval Office, the newly minted 47th President signed over 20 Executive Orders, one of which, we suspect, was a directive to replace Air Force One’s seating with gold-plated recliners. 

A man of action—or at least of Sharpie flourishes—Trump’s frenetic signing spree has left many wondering: has he already “Made America Great Again Again”? If so, shouldn’t he gracefully retire to Mar-a-Lago, the gilded Valhalla of golf carts and Diet Cokes, claiming his legacy as the shortest-serving U.S. president?

Imagine the headlines: “Trump’s Two-Day Term: The Best in History, Many People Are Saying.” Surely, this would inflate his ego beyond its already stratospheric proportions. After all, why slog through a full term when he can sign, brag, and bow out as the ultimate overachiever? Mission accomplished, folks.