(Melchor Vergara contributed to this report)

Ah, America the Great (Again), where science meets selective hearing and progress takes a leisurely stroll backward. 

Donald Trump’s administration has boldly decided to settle the “gender debate” with the subtlety of a sledgehammer: male and female, period. Forget the complexities of identity or the existence of court-approved gender changes; in this brave new world, your passport might soon be less of a travel document and more of an interrogation trigger. Will TSA start administering chromosome tests at security checkpoints? Maybe they’ll bring back phrenology while they’re at it.

Health care for transgender individuals? Well, why bother when we’re too busy ensuring their very existence is bureaucratically erased? It’s a new era of “equality,” where everyone fits neatly into two boxes—or doesn’t fit at all. But hey, as they say, nothing screams “freedom” like legislating people’s identities. Welcome to the land of the free and the home of the rigidly binary.