It is truly a marvel of investigative prowess that Vice President Sara Duterte was able to unearth the House members’ use of a script during the first OVP budget hearing. Surely, this revelation could only have been uncovered with the deft deployment of confidential funds—who knew such resources could be so…insightful? 

Yet, there’s a delicious irony here: the same VP who pointed fingers at the scripted members of Congress was herself glued to her smartphone, reading her own script. Not just once, but several times. And to think, it was a very short script, one that she couldn’t even memorize. 

Perhaps the next tranche of confidential funds could be allocated to memory training? It’s fascinating to witness such a masterclass in deflection, where the pot doesn’t just call the kettle black—it reads from its smartphone to make sure the accusation lands perfectly.