In a display of masterful evasion, Vice President Sara Duterte took to the Senate floor, not to answer questions about her P10 million book budget, but to give a history lesson no one asked for.

When Senator Risa Hontiveros inquired about the contents of this mysterious literary masterpiece, Duterte deftly dodged, instead digging up old political grudges. It’s as if she thought the budget hearing was a reunion of Pugad Baboy—more drama than actual discussion. To top it off, she called Hontiveros disrespectful for daring to expect an answer.

Ah, the irony! Apparently, the real disrespect is not in sidestepping a co-equal branch of government but in being asked a question in the first place. Perhaps Duterte’s book is indeed a thriller—it seems to be full of twists, turns, and missing pages. If only it had an author who knew what the plot was supposed to be.