The upcoming liquor ban in Quezon City on the day of the SONA is a prime example of the government’s knack for implementing brilliant policies.

Just glance at a map of Metro Manila, and you’ll notice Quezon City’s borders with other cities. It’s a revolutionary concept: can’t buy alcohol in Quezon City? Simply step off the border, and voila! Alcohol in abundance! What’s even more genius is the oversight of human behavior—because clearly, no one will think to enjoy a few drinks in neighboring cities and then casually stroll back into Quezon City.

It’s a perfect plan, meticulously designed by our ever-thoughtful technocrats. They’ve truly outdone themselves in crafting policies that look good on paper but fall apart faster than a house of cards in a windstorm.

Who needs practicality when you have such impeccable, if futile, bureaucratic brilliance at work?