Ah, the grand spectacle of young graduates draped in money garlands, parading their academic triumphs while we, the mere plebeians, watch in awe and mild nausea. Is this an insensitive display of wealth or just another episode of “Keeping Up with the Commencement Kardashians”? 

Tradition, you say? Or perhaps just another hallmark of our consumer-driven society, where even education has a price tag—and it’s in crisp peso or dollar bills. 

And those money-studded ceremonies? Why not? If newlyweds can turn into human ATMs at weddings, why shouldn’t our fresh graduates get their share?

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And as for those garish money birthday cakes from Red Ribbon or Goldilocks, fear not! They’re not polluting young minds; they’re simply preparing them for a world where sugar highs are the only way to cope with economic lows. 

Welcome to the glittering chaos of modern celebration.