MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Malacañang Bureau) – In a bold move, President Bongbong Marcos fired Anti-Poverty Czar Larry Gadon, following the latter’s  groundbreaking assertion that poverty in the Philippines is simply “a figment of the imagination” (haka-haka). 

Gadon, recently disbarred, declared that the nation’s 18 million impoverished citizens are merely experiencing “an illusion,” arguing that shopping malls are crowded, fast-food restaurants are packed, and new cars are hitting the roads.

Marcos expressed disappointment, noting that while he admired Gadon’s creativity, he needed a Czar who acknowledged real problems. “We need solutions, not magical thinking,” Marcos said. Rumors suggest the next appointee might propose tackling poverty through positive affirmations and the power of positive thinking.