by Melchor Vergara

In a stroke of marketing genius inspired by Senator Bato de la Rosa’s recent fixation on punch holes, a new line of paper hole punchers is set to storm the Philippine market. 

Promising to revolutionize document verification, these punchers boast the ability to leave behind a distinctive mark of authenticity—a trail of perfectly aligned punctures.

Dubbed the “Authentipunchers,” these innovative tools aim to put an end to forgery and deceit by ensuring that every important document comes with its own unmistakable pattern of punch holes. From contracts to certificates, nothing will escape the scrutiny of the Authentipunchers.

Manufacturers are already hailing this invention as the ultimate solution to prevent any future controversies over document authenticity.

With Senator de la Rosa’s endorsement ringing in their ears, they’re confident that every Filipino office will soon be equipped with these indispensable tools of verification. After all, in a world where punch holes reign supreme, authenticity is just a puncture away.