Oh mighty celestial custodian, we beseech thee to spare a thought for poor Bb. Maharlika, whose soul seems to have taken a detour through Dante’s Inferno. As she wallows in the depths of her own misguided righteousness, we implore thee to intervene and liberate her from the clutches of the infernal tempter, Satan. Grant her the strength to acknowledge that she’s not just hit rock bottom but has erected a condominium there. Bless her with the courage to embrace the harsh reality that her redemption lies not in endless pontification, but in the sacred art of shuttingTFU. May she find solace in the blissful silence of introspection, and may her vocal cords discover the serene tranquility of non-existence. Amen.

In the latest episode of “Military Madness,” India delivers to the Philippines state-of-the-art  cruise missiles.

What says “diplomatic goodwill” better than explosive armaments? At a cool $375 million, it’s like the world’s deadliest version of Secret Santa. But here’s the kicker: who guarantees that these missiles won’t fizzle out mid-flight like a defective firework? 

Imagine the scene: Filipino soldiers eagerly load up, only to watch in horror as their pricey projectiles perform a spectacular nosedive into the ocean. In the meantime, the enemy had already responded with firepower that works!

It’s like buying a fancy gadget, only to realize it’s a glorified paperweight. 

And the cherry on top? There’s no return policy for faulty warheads. The only way to test their efficacy is by pressing that ominous red button and hoping for the best. 

With this level of uncertainty, it’s a wonder if anyone’s still playing this deadly game of military Monopoly.