(Melchor Vergara contributed to this report)

Ah, the saga of Captain’s Peak Garden and Resort in Sagbayan, Bohol, continues to unfold like a poorly written soap opera. With structures looming at the feet of the iconic Chocolate Hills, it’s a spectacle that could only be appreciated by those with a taste for architectural blasphemy. 

As investigations kick off into how such a monstrosity was given the green light, rumors swirl like confetti at a circus. The Villar family’s Camella Homes, famed for its cookie-cutter suburbs, is rumored apparently to have its sights set on a Chocolate Subdivision. How delightful! Because what better way to honor natural wonders than by paving over them with cookie-cutter homes and calling it progress? 

It’s a slapstick comedy of errors, where greed trumps conservation and concrete conquers nature. Fun times indeed, for those with a morbid fascination for ecological absurdity.