In a dazzling display of irony, a circus of speculation surrounds the impending arrest of Rodrigo Duterte by the International Criminal Court (ICC). 

The orchestrators? None other than the dubious duo of Harry Roque and Mark Lopez, supported by media giants like the Inquirer and GMA News. Their source? The ever-reliable Antonio Trillanes and Duterte himself, of course. One wonders if they stumbled upon an embargoed ICC press release or just had a fortuitous chat with Lady Justice over tea.

It’s a marvel how these clairvoyants possess exclusive insights into the ICC’s inner workings. Perhaps they’re testing the waters of public opinion or aiming for a sympathy surge by playing the victim card. 

But let’s not forget the punchline: even if a warrant materializes, enforcing it within the Philippines is a wholly different saga. It’s a plot twist straight out of a political farce, with characters juggling half-truths like flaming batons. 

Welcome to the theater of the absurd, where credibility takes a backseat and the truth is a mere footnote in the spectacle.