In a bizarre turn of events, U.S. Customs has added Goldilocks polvoron — that sweet, powdery shortbread Filipino delicacy — to its list of banned items, leaving travelers and importers scratching their heads. 

The unexpected prohibition allegedly stems from rumors circulating about a damning video featuring President Bongbong Marcos and his supposed use of a prohibited substance—specifically, that illegal white powder.

The decision has sent shockwaves through the Filipino  community, with Goldilocks reporting a significant decline in sales of their sweet, powdery delights, including the beloved ube, chocolate, and cashew flavors. The confectionery giant is bewildered by the association with the scandalous white powder, insisting that treats are purely for culinary enjoyment.

As the polvoron prohibition raises eyebrows and leaves a sugary void in the hearts of dessert enthusiasts, conspiracy theories about the illicit substance and its alleged connection to Goldilocks continue to swirl, adding a sprinkle of absurdity to the already puzzling situation.