Solved: Case Of The Missing Mall Escalator

QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Quezon City Bureau) – It will go down in history as the weirdest heist ever conducted — an entire mall escalator going missing from SM North EDSA.

But leave it to the ever-efficient agents of the Philippines’ National Bureau of Investigation, the culprit was immediately found and apprehended.

NBI agents found the missing structure installed in a two-storey house just outside of Quezon City.

How the robber was able to pull it off continues to puzzle the mall management and investigative authorities.

One thing for sure is that it will take at least 15 working days for the escalator to be disassembled from the robber’s home and re-installed at the mall. In the meantime, shoppers are advised to do a little physical exercise and take the stairs to reach their favorite store at SM North.

Rappler, Plagiarist

(Photo: Rappler.com)

Oh, the symphony of irony plays on as Rappler, the self-proclaimed paragon of journalistic virtue, now confesses to playing fast and loose with the very essence of its purported principles—originality. 

Maria Ressa, the herald of truth and guardian against misinformation, must be practicing a new kind of interpretative journalism where the truth is reinterpreted to fit the narrative of plagiarism. How marvelous it is that the least-trusted news brand, a beacon of integrity flickering in the stormy seas of skepticism, finds itself caught in the undertow of intellectual pilferage.

One can’t help but applaud the audacity of Rappler, boldly embracing the art of copy-paste in pursuit of profit motives. Perhaps it’s a unique journalistic strategy—why bother crafting original content when you can just borrow someone else’s narrative? It’s a refreshing departure from the tedious norms of integrity, a true avant-garde leap into the uncharted waters of journalistic cheekiness. 

Bravo, Rappler, for turning the page on journalistic ethics and penning a new chapter in the annals of newsroom chutzpah!