Monthly Archives: October 2023

Travel

Structural Integrity Of MRT Pillar Worries Motorists And Commuters!

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MANDALUYONG, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Mandaluyong Bureau) – Metro Manila motorists and commuters are now fretting about the structural integrity of a portion of the MRT railway platform along EDSA. Instead of a reliable concrete pillar, engineers decided to employ a giant billboard featuring the charismatic actor Coco Martin. 

The billboard shows Martin in a striking Atlas pose, mimicking the mythical Titan character given the burden off carrying the universe on his shoulders.

ABS-CBN allegedly greased the wheels, or rather tracks, with hefty incentives for this ingenious promotional stunt for for the teleserye “Batang Quiapo,” starring Martin. 

While it may provide commuters with some much-needed entertainment, experts predict the platform may soon suffer a ‘Coco-collapse.’ 

In the meantime, straphangers can enjoy thrilling episodes of uncertainty while awaiting their next train – or should we say, train-wreck.

Law Enforcement

New York Judge Orders Former US President Donald Trump To Shut Up!

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NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau ) – In a stunning display of judicial authority, a New York judge has issued an order that has left pundits and Twitter-addicted citizens in shock: former President Donald Trump has been told to “shut up.”

The judge, presumably an expert in the intricacies of diplomacy, humorously suggested that the ex-commander-in-tweetery should explore other hobbies, like knitting or bird watching.

Legal scholars are scratching their heads, wondering if this is a precedent for a new era of jurisprudence, while Trump supporters are curiously waiting for the president’s upcoming knitting tutorials. In a world where silence from Trump is a rare commodity, this legal decree could be his most elusive tweet yet.

National News, Travel

Senator Bong Revilla Proposes 5-Seater Motorcycles

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MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Actor-turned-Senator Bong Revilla is taking his vice chairmanship of the Senate Committee on Public Services very seriously. Now, he is focused on solving the country’s mass transportation problems and unending traffic woes.

In a move that left his colleagues scratching their heads (because they didn’t think of this first), Revilla urged vehicle manufacturers to come up with 5-seater motorcycles, saying that increasing the passenger capacity of Angkas and other motor ride hailing services would make a significant impact on traffic and mass transportation.

Revilla unveiled a 5-seater motorcycle model which he said he saw on one of his travels to some Southeast Asian countries.

The senator further proposed to grant full tax exemptions for vehicle manufacturers that will venture into the 5-seater motorbikes.