Dateline Zürich: Your Thunder Has No Sound

by Maria Bratikova

When you go a-seething
Cos Adobo Chronicle’s a-printing
Know your brain‘s a-wasting,
Or, just not existing.

Your body’s a-squirming
You know yah been a-bitching.
No reason, just you accusing
Others of what you’re doing.

Do not use your mediocrity
Nor your native inferiority
To undermine our superiority
You‘ll never top our ability.

This i now tell you, Bro . . .
Quit the nonsense, be true.
Not late a brain to grow
Or find one to borrow.

Will see you tomorrow
Then you will again know
We’re the better honcho
It‘s true you‘re just so-so.

Ode To Joy (Belmonte)

In a dazzling display of political acrobatics, Quezon City Mayor Joy Belmonte has finally emerged from her self-imposed silence chamber to address the Commonwealth Avenue VIP traffic debacle. Yet, her statement reads like a masterclass in vagueness and evasion, leaving us all in a whirlwind of bewilderment.

While expressing her desire to have the relieved traffic police back on duty, Belmonte conveniently neglects to reveal the true identity of the so-called VIP involved in the incident. The public has already deduced that it wasn’t the illustrious VP Sarah Duterte, but the identity of this mystery VIP remains a closely guarded secret, shrouded in the murkiness of political opacity.

As if that’s not perplexing enough, the mayor’s control over local police forces makes her silence on the matter all the more questionable. She could have promptly initiated an investigation or even ordered the stop herself, but alas, we are left with more questions than answers.

And let’s not forget the cherry on this absurd cake: the contemplated charges against the video uploader. Will Belmonte pull the plug on this dubious plan next? Only time will tell if this traffic saga will unravel into a full-blown political circus, complete with clowns and acrobats.

Gilas Pilipinas Doubtful About Their Gold Medals!

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Members of Gilas Pilipinas basketball team, fresh from their triumphant victory at the 2023 ASIAD in China, are now questioning the authenticity of their gold medals.

Rumors have circulated that the medals might be mere gold-plated trinkets, fueling the age-old Filipino suspicion that anything “Made in China” is counterfeit. “It just seemed too shiny to be true,” said one perplexed player.

In response, the Chinese government assured the team that their medals were genuine, sparking laughter from the Filipinos who now suspect China may be trying to fake a sense of humor as well.