imageMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles®) – It’s official! The Material Girl is coming to Manila.

Madonna will hold her first concert in the Philippines on February 24, 2016. It is the only country in Asia that is included in the Queen of Pop’s The Rebel Heart World Tour which kicks off in Montreal, Canada this September.

Tickets for the Manila concert go on sale starting July 26.

Already, both fans and critics are predicting that the concert will be an absolute flop, and here are the top ten reasons why:

  1. Filipino Millennials don’t know who the 56-year-old Madonna is; they only know Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande and Miley Cyrus.
  2. Religious Filipino Baby Boomers know only one Madonna, the one enshrined in their Catholic parish church holding the baby Jesus.
  3. The cheapest concert ticket will sell at P3,150 ($72). That would be six days of work for minimum wage earners.
  4. The most expensive concert ticket will sell at P57,750 ($1,313.) That would be 117 days of work for minimum wage earners.
  5. The venue at The Mall of Asia seats about 20,000 people. Imagine all the empty seats at this one-night-only concert because of Nos. 1, 2, 3 and 4 above.
  6.  Most Filipino concert goers will have to take Manila’s Light Railway, the MRT, to get to the Mall of Asia. Most will not get there on time because of the long lines to get to the trains, not to mention expected train breakdowns along the way.
  7. Madonna herself will show up late for the concert.  Her limousine will be stuck in Manila traffic. Existing law prohibits celebrities and politicians from using car sirens (‘wang-wang’ in local parlance) to get through traffic jams.
  8. It is much cheaper to buy a Madonna DVD. All members of Filipino families and extended families can watch it for a single price.
  9. Madonna impersonators abound in the Philippines. And they give free shows all the time. Filipino Madonna impersonators do a better job than Madonna herself.
  10. Madonna Concert promoters will have a very small profit margin, after the Philippines’ Commissioner of the Bureau of Internal Revenue Kim Henares will have collected tax from the ticket proceeds.


  1. Why have you not taken this post down yet? She’s having a 2nd day concert which means her tickets are selling well. In other words, you are like two-fat-guys-on-the-same-side-of-the-boat wrong. You probably come up with these reasons as you went along.

    Consider this:
    For the elites, the rich and famous, and the social climbers, events that require splurging money are something they have be a part of. It’s more like establishing their status.

    I guess you haven’t been to any concert at all because concert goers arrive at the venue HOURS before the show starts. They prepare for it especially because they paid lots of money for it.

    You said in your About us page that all we get here are based on facts. Do you think Madonna will be arriving in a limousine for concerts? Do you watch any behind the scenes concert videos? At this point, I need the help of that Buddhist deity with a thousand hands. I only have a couple and a double facepalm is not enough for this idiocy.

    If you were just trying to make a joke you should have set the right expectations because readers like myself have a “good” sense of humor. But if not, please be ashamed of yourself. This article is recommendable for anorexics to aid them in purging. If you keep writing like this I have three words – PLEASE STOP IMMEDIATELY.

    Liked by 1 person

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