New York, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) – Attention-deprived Kim Kardashian wanted to break the Internet and claim the record for the most viewed photograph ever posted online. So she decided to pose nude on the cover of the Internet magazine, Paper.

The photo showing her enormous oiled posterior did get a lot of attention, but it was not enough to break the record set by Miley Cyrus’ twerking during the last video music awards.

Sources close to Kardashian confirmed that she was very depressed about not accomplishing her goal that she developed a severe panic disorder. It didn’t help that she went into two full days of binge drinking.

Her brother Rob Kardashian convinced her to enter into rehab and she took his advice, despite objections from both her husband Kanye West and ex-husband Kris Humphries.

The public will not be hearing from Kim for at least six months. Netizens were ecstatic about the news.