Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – After meeting with President Barack Obama at the White House today, top leaders of the now Republican-controlled Congress announced their 2-year, 12-point agenda.

Called the “Conservative Contract with the American People,” the comprehensive and ambitious agenda will be officially launched at a joint session of the 114th Congress scheduled for January 5, 2015.

House Speaker John Boehner and incoming Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, officially unveiled the agenda before reporters at the steps of the Capitol.

The 12-point agenda:

1. Repeal ObamaCare
2. Strike down any federal and state law that resembles the Dream Act
3. Deport all Undocumented Immigrants, including all those whose cases are pending in  immigration courts
4. Close all U.S.-Mexico borders and ban all flights from West Africa
5. Amend the U.S. Constitution to define marriage to be only between one man and one woman
6. Privatize Social Security and increase retirement benefits for members of Congress
7. Double the tax breaks for the Fortune 500 Companies
8. Pressure the liberal members of the Supreme Court to retire or resign if they continue to have dissenting opinions with the rest of the Supremes
9. Re-invade Iraq; invade Syria and Afghanistan; renew the Cold War with Russia
10. Tax all use of social media and limit public access to news programs except Fox News
11. Require all school classes, government and private meetings, conferences, concerts, sports events, the Tonys, Emmys, Grammys , Oscars,  and Video Music Awards to begin with the recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance. It will be a federal offense to omit the phrase “under God”
12. Postpone the 2016 presidential elections and give President Obama an extra four years so that he can try to work more closely with the Republican Congress on the above issues.