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PORK BARREL AFTERMATH: PHILIPPINE NEWSPAPER TO PUBLISH UNPRECEDENTED THREE EDITIONS DAILY

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Photo: Philippine Daily Inquirer

Manila, Philippines – While daily newspapers in the U.S. are cutting down on their circulation, downsizing newsroom staff or throwing in the towel altogether due to unprofitable business operations, a national daily newspaper in the Philippines announced that it is coming out with three editions daily –  morning, noon and evening. Thanks to the pork barrel scam that is now the center of a massive investigation involving lawmakers, administration officials and private business persons.

The scam involves the alleged siphoning of 10 Billion pesos of taxpayer money into ghost projects and nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) as well as the pockets of senators, representatives and high government officials.

The newspaper, Philippine Daily Inquirer, has obtained files and documents from whistleblower turned state witness, Benhur Luy, listing the names of over 150 past and current members of the House of Representatives and detailing their  involvement in the scam. Luy is a former employee of Janet Lim-Napoles, the alleged mastermind of the scam.

The Inquirer said it has run out of space in its single edition to publish the names and transactions of the lawmakers. To remedy the situation, the newspaper announced that beginning tomorrow, it will publish three daily editions in order to accommodate the voluminous damning documents in Luy’s files.

The newspaper is confident that it will have enough stories to fill its 3  daily editions, especially when the “other list” containing the names of senators finally becomes public. Secretary of Justice Leila de Lima is holding on to an affidavit obtained  from Napoles which reportedly implicates more than half of sitting senators.

Newspaper printing can be profitable after all!

 

 

 

JUSTIN BIEBER, FLOYD MAYWEATHER INVEST TO FIND A CURE FOR SELFITIS

Mayweather, left, and Bieber
Mayweather, left, and Bieber

San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – It may be a weird combination, but a teen singing idol and a champion boxer have both put their money where their mouth is.

Justin Bieber and Floyd Mayweather just  announced that they have invested millions of dollars in research to find a cure for selfitis – the mental disorder that involves the obsessive-compulsive urge to take pictures of one’s self and post them on the Internet.

Recently, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) officially classified selfie-taking as a mental disease. It identified three levels of the disease: borderline, acute and chronic selfitis.

imageBieber and Mayweather decided to back  an app called ‘Shots of Me’ — marketed by a  San Francisco-based company, RockLive.  The app is an iOS-based selfie sharing network that can be downloaded free from Apple’s AppStore.

While the app actually encourages selfies and may cause selfitis, Bieber and Mayweather have said that 100% of their investment earnings from RockLive will be donated to the National Institutes for Research to be used exlusively to find a cure for selfitis.

 

 

CONGRESS MULLS THREE-PARTY SYSTEM

imageWashington, D.C. – Voters in the U.S. may have more choices of candidates come 2016 if Congress approves an amendment to the Constitution introduced this week.  There could potentially be four candidates for president and other elective offices.

It will no longer be just a choice of liberal (Democratic) or conservative (Republican), but also left-wing conservative (Tea Party) , not to mention the free-for-all independent (decline to state).

In recent years, the unofficial Tea Party has gained more supporters especially among those who thought that the current Republican Party is not conservative enough. Tea Party-backed candidates have threatened, if not totally ruined the political careers of many long-time Republicans.

Proposed Republic of Tea logo
Proposed Republic of Tea logo

Informed sources who spoke to The Adobo Chronicles on condition of anonymity said that the new third party will be called The Republic of Tea, indicating an ideology that’s a cross between the Republican and Tea Party groups.

Questioned about the new third party platform, the sources said that it will be based on heightened capitalism; state-sanctioned religion; and a ban on divorce, sex reassignment surgery, labor unions and private educational instututions. K-12 will be totally abolished in favor of home schooling. The party will not have a foreign policy and will focus soley on domestic issues. The U.S. military will be privatized and run by thr National Rifle Association (NRA).

The sources refused to speculate on who will lead the new party.