Ladies and gentlemen, gather ’round, for I’ve got a tale that will leave you both amused and befuddled. It’s the Commonwealth Avenue fiasco, a comedy of errors that showcases the fine art of traffic management in the great Quezon City.

So, here’s the setup: a video surfaces, showing a traffic cop diligently blocking traffic on Commonwealth Avenue, one of the most congested roads in the nation. Why, you might ask? Oh, only because someone whispered that Vice President Sara Duterte was about to grace the road with her presence. Because, you know, the VIPs can’t be bothered to sit in traffic like the rest of us peasants.

Now, it appears the Quezon City Police weren’t too thrilled about this video, probably because it shattered the illusion that politicians abide by the same rules as us common folk. So, they swiftly relieved the cop who had the audacity to suggest that, yes, it was indeed Duterte who caused the gridlock. They also decided to hunt down the motorist who shot the video. But wait, what crime has the motorist committed, you ask? Well, that’s the kicker – it seems the only thing they’re guilty of is pointing a camera at the absurdity of the situation.

Perhaps the police are following the groundbreaking doctrine of “guilt by videography.” It’s a legal principle that suggests if you capture a politician causing a traffic mess, you’re the one who’s in the wrong. After all, isn’t it our solemn duty to avert our eyes, keep our heads down, and pretend we didn’t just witness a political spectacle blocking our way to work?

But here’s a radical idea: instead of investigating the poor motorist who simply documented the chaos, why don’t we investigate the masterminds behind this traffic-stopping extravaganza? Who gave the orders to the cops? Who decided that the common people should be treated like unwitting pawns in a game of political chess? Why the secrecy? 

Wouldn’t it be a public service to enlighten us about which VIP was responsible for this colossal inconvenience? But then again, that might disrupt the carefully constructed narrative that the mighty and powerful live by the same rules as us ordinary mortals. And we can’t have that, now, can we?

So there you have it, folks – another day in the circus of our modern political theater. The little people are used as pawns, our patience is tested, and our intelligence insulted. But fear not, for we will always have our trusty cameras to capture the moments when the powers that be momentarily forget that they work for us, not the other way around.

Oh, and by the way, isn’t the local police supposed to be controlled by the city mayor? Why so quiet on City Hall’s end?

Ah, the great Commonwealth caper! It’s truly remarkable how a lowly traffic cop can single-handedly bring one of the busiest streets in the metro to a screeching halt, all in the name of protecting the ever-elusive VIP. But isn’t it a tad optimistic to believe that a mere officer can make such traffic-stopping decisions? Whatever happened to “command responsibility?”

The pink slip should not be limited to the subject cop, but the responsible chain of command.

And let’s not forget the comedic masterpiece that was the QCPD’s apology statement. VP Sara Duterte, for some reason, was dragged into this mess, only to be exonerated as an innocent bystander in the ordeal. But the QCPD forgot to mention who this mysterious VIP actually was. Perhaps they’re saving that revelation for a thrilling sequel?

The transparency they touted was more opaque than a blindfolded mole in a coal mine. It leaves us all wondering, who was this VIP, and what absurd privilege allows them to turn Commonwealth Avenue into their own personal racetrack? Alas, some mysteries are meant to remain unsolved in the curious world of VIP Philippines.