Ah, the art of Defending the Indefensible—a skill perfected by Duterte diehards who can twist reality better than a telenovela plot. Never mind the recorded threats, congressional hearings, or actual criminal cases; to these fanatics, the father-daughter duo remains untouchable, if not downright divine.

Desperation, however, has hit new lows. Bloggers, ever hungry for monetization (or the occasional propaganda payday), cling to the fantasy that these two are destined for national monuments—perhaps with statues that automatically curse at critics. Some even whisper about sainthood, because what’s a few expletives and extrajudicial shortcuts compared to miracles like prayer-rallies that exalt the demigods?

And so, the circus continues, with these loyalists bending over backward to justify the unjustifiable. If historical revisionism were an Olympic sport, they’d sweep the gold. But hey, desperate times call for desperate measures—especially when views and super chats are on the line!