MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Philippine Senator Bato dela Rosa is now proposing to provide free cellphones for all Filipinos who could not afford to buy one.
This revolutionary plan follows Bato’s earlier idea to make the national ID digital instead of printed copies. (The printing and delivery of national IDs have been delayed for almost three years now).
Speaking with The Adobo Chronicles, Bato said that in addition to solving the problem of delay for the physical national IDs, his free cellphone proposal will also immediately solve the nation’s digital divide, while providing all with ready access to Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and Candy Crush.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Senator Bato dela Rosa has had a change of heart regarding his earlier proposal to make the national ID digital.
Apparently, after careful consideration, he now believes that the true mark of Filipino citizenship should be a permanent tattoo.
“Cellphones are so passé,” declared the senator. “Everyone has one, and I want something that truly stands out as proof of our Filipinoness.” The proposed tattoo, to be inked onto every Filipino’s forearm, will display their unique citizenship QR code, with options for customization including national symbols like mangoes and jeepneys.
Critics have called this move “skin-deep patriotism,” but Senator dela Rosa insists it’s more cost-effective, conveniently permanent, and a fantastic conversation starter.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Many baby boomer Filipinos grew up living with typhoons and other calamities without any suspension or cancellation of school classes.
But today, classes are suspended left and right for mere forecasts of bad weather and other natural occurrences such volcanic activity or man-made occurrences like transportation strikes or international events being held in the country.
Now, many parents are demanding a refund of their children’s tuition fees for every day schools remain closed due to the “#WalangPasok” phenomenon.
Citing the unforeseen inconvenience of having their little angels at home, parents argue that they should only pay for days when their offspring are professionally supervised.
One disgruntled parent quipped, “If my child isn’t studying with a teacher, I should get a discount. It’s not like I can teach them calculus!”
The Adobo Chronicles 
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