Category Archives: National News

Buh-Bye, Smartmatic! Will A New Magician Take Over?

In the grand theater of Philippine politics, the disqualification of Smartmatic from election procurement activities is like the magician’s final disappearing act, leaving behind a lingering haze of doubt. 

The Commission on Elections has severed ties with Smartmatic, the once-magical technology firm that made ballots disappear more efficiently than a Vegas illusionist. As the smoke clears, whispers of doubt and suspicion waft through the air like confetti after a lackluster performance.

The accusations against Smartmatic and ex-Comelec Chair Andy Bautista raise eyebrows, prompting citizens to wonder if the 2016 elections were nothing more than a grand illusion. 

Is disqualifying Smartmatic a belated attempt at pulling back the curtain on a politically orchestrated magic show? If so, does this expose confirm the existence of the mythical FVP (Fake Vice President), turning the 2016 elections into a tragicomic spectacle worthy of a political circus? 

Only time will tell if this unmasking is a revelation or just another act in the never-ending circus of Philippine politics.

The big question now is: as we say “buh-bye” to Smatmatic, who we say “hello” to?  Or is it a given that the old magician will be placed by a new one?

Today, November 30 Is “Bike To Bonifacio Monument Day”

In a stunning move that left critics scratching their heads, President Bongbong Marcos declared the last working day of November as “Bike to Work Day.”

While the initiative aims to promote a healthy and eco-friendly commute, it faced immediate backlash for its questionable timing.

November 30, historically a weekday, coincides with the birth anniversary of national hero Andres Bonifacio. Critics questioned the President’s decision to overshadow a day dedicated to a great Filipino revolutionary with a call for pedal power. “Why choose the hero’s day for this bike to work thing? It is detrimental to our plans to stage protests in commemoration of Bonifacio’s natal day,” they lamented.

Responding with characteristic nonchalance, Malacañang suggested a creative solution. “Filipinos can always bike to the protest sites, making the occasion a double whammy; you can protest while helping save on fuel and be environment-friendly.”

It seems the wheels of progress are turning, albeit on two wheels.

(Melchor Vergara contributed to this report.)

DFA Unveils New, Updated Philippine Passport.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – In a groundbreaking move, the Department of Foreign Affairs has proudly presented the revamped Philippine passport, featuring a staggering alteration: “Pilipinas” has been rebranded as “Filipinas.” 

The DFA claims this linguistic makeover was inspired by none other than Miss Universe Philippines, Michelle Dee, who is rumored to introduce herself as the representative from “Filipinas” in a nod to the country’s historical roots as Las Islas Filipinas (1500’s).

Critics are calling it a stroke of genius, while others are wondering if next, they’ll be adding “Cute Republic of Filipinas” as the official designation. Stay tuned for more linguistic acrobatics from the DFA!