In a jaw-dropping display of bureaucratic dentistry, the Department of Justice (DOJ) has left the nation gaping with its latest move: issuing a toothless “lookout order” on Pastor Apollo Quiboloy. 

This decision, akin to yanking out all the teeth but forgetting the dentures, showcases the DOJ’s knack for leaving gaping holes in its enforcement efforts.

With a subpoena dangling like a loose molar, Quiboloy’s potential departure remains as unpredictable as a game of dental roulette. The DOJ’s strategy seems to involve little more than a half-hearted grin and a hopeful glance, reminiscent of a tooth fairy on vacation.

In a justice system that often resembles a dental clinic where the drills are missing and the anesthesia expired, this latest development only adds to the cavalcade of absurdities. It’s a reminder that in the theater of law enforcement, sometimes the only thing more absent than justice is a decent set of molars.

In the whimsical world of linguistic gymnastics, the saga of what to call a new, independent Mindanao unfolds like a slapstick comedy. 

Should we dub them “Mindanaoanians” or perhaps “Mindanaoites”? As the secession movement gains traction, the air is thick with anticipation, not for political change, but for the birth of a new tongue-twister.

Imagine the perplexed faces of geographers trying to fit “Mindanaoanians” onto their maps, or the linguistic acrobatics required to pronounce it without spraining a tongue. 

Meanwhile, the global community scratches its collective head, wondering if this is a plot twist in a surreal sitcom.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the absurdity of it all. In a world grappling with weighty issues, the question of what to call a group of people seems comically inconsequential. Yet, in the theater of the absurd, where logic takes a backseat and satire reigns supreme, “Mindanaoanians” may just steal the show.