Move over, Manny Pacquiao; there’s a new champion in town, and his name is Alan Peter Cayetano.
With a record-breaking number of absences in the Senate, Cayetano has proven that when it comes to playing hooky, he’s in a league of his own. Forget about dodging punches in the ring; Cayetano’s mastered the art of dodging responsibilities in the hallowed halls of Congress.
While Pacquiao may have missed a few sessions while training for fights, Cayetano’s absences seem more like an Olympic-level feat of avoidance. Perhaps he’s been too busy perfecting his disappearing act or attending seminars on the art of evasion. Whatever the case, one thing’s for sure: Cayetano’s absenteeism deserves its own gold medal.
So, move aside, Pac-Man; there’s a new absentee senator stealing the spotlight, and he’s not showing up anytime soon.
Mariel Padilla all smiles during her Senate Gluta Session
In a stunning display of legislative multitasking, Senator Robin Padilla’s wife Mariel has managed to turn the Senate into a one-stop-shop for beauty treatments.
From skin-whitening gluta drips to potential office spa days, it seems no government space is off-limits for her cosmetic endeavors. While one might applaud her efficiency, others question the appropriateness of turning the hallowed halls of governance into a personal salon. What’s next, a Senate-approved nail salon or a massage parlor in the caucus room?
While everyone deserves to pamper themselves, using taxpayer-funded resources for personal beautification ventures crosses the line from self-care to self-indulgence.
As the public grapples with the absurdity of it all, one can’t help but wonder if this is the future of governance: where legislation takes a backseat to skincare routines and committee meetings become spa appointments.
Welcome to the era of political pampering, where bills aren’t the only things getting passed.
Senate President Migz Zubiri seems to be tiptoeing around the subpoena for Pastor Apollo Quiboloy like a cat avoiding a puddle.
One can’t help but wonder what’s causing this sudden case of cold feet. Is he afraid Quiboloy might unleash a divine wrath upon him? Or perhaps he’s worried about offending the delicate sensibilities of Quiboloy’s loyal followers, who might start a pilgrimage to the Senate armed with holy water and pitchforks?
Maybe Zubiri is just protecting his prized collection of bonsai trees from any potential curses Quiboloy could cast his way. After all, those bonsais are his pride and joy.
Whatever the reason, it seems the Senate President is more concerned with dodging the subpoena than actually facing the truth. But hey, who needs accountability when you have a well-manicured garden, right?
The Adobo Chronicles 
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