Category Archives: Food

Food, Local News

City Of Dagupan Adopts Homeless Bangus!

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The city government of Dagupan in Pangasinan has taken on the role of a fish sanctuary, adopting crates upon crates of homeless bangus. 

Mayor Belen Fernandez defended the move, expressing her government’s inability to stomach seeing Dagupan’s beloved bangus roaming the streets aimlessly. 

The decision came after a social media post advertised homeless bangus for sale. Mayor Belen assured concerned citizens that the homeless milkfish would be housed in refrigerated warehouses until the upcoming bangus festival, where they’ll hopefully find sanctuary in proper home kitchens or festival grills. 

Critics, however, are left wondering if the fish are receiving better treatment than the city’s human inhabitants.

Agriculture, Economy, Food

Philippines No. 1 Rice Exporter?

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Turning the Philippines from a leading rice importer to an exporter seems like a Herculean task, but fear not, for we have a foolproof plan! 

Step one: Let’s eradicate all rice-based cottage industries because who needs suman, bilo-bilo, or bibingka anyway? Sacrifices must be made for the greater good of rice exports, right? 

Step two: Say goodbye to those pesky Camella subdivisions and hello to endless rice fields. Who needs modern housing when you can have fields of golden grains as far as the eye can see? 

Step three: Make it illegal for Mang Inasal and other restaurants to offer unli rice. Hey, it might even significantly reduce the incidence of diabetes and obesity among Filipinos.

Step four: Direct the Land Bank and others to accept carabaos as collateral for rice farmers to apply for a loan to purchase tractors and other modern agricultural equipment.

Finally, step five: Let’s hit rewind and repeal the Rice Tariffication Law because who needs pro-business economic policies when you can turn the country to the No. 1 world rice exporter?

With these brilliant strategies in place, the Philippines will surely become the envy of rice exporters worldwide. Because who needs diversity, cottage industries, or sensible legislation when you can have fields of rice stretching to the horizon?

Food

Food Review: McDonald’s New “Crispy” Fish Fillet Sandwich

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We wanted to start the Holy Week with a little review about fish: McDonald’s new “crispy” fish fillet. They had us hooked with the tantalizing promo, promising a crispy delight for the fish aficionados in us. However, our hopes were dashed upon receiving a soggy, lackluster rendition of what was advertised. 

We’re of course adobo lovers but we crave for some fish once in a while, especially with a promise of irresistible crisp.  We were busy in the newsroom and chose to order online for immediate delivery.  And so it came, our soggy, not crispy, fish fillet sandwich.  

Despite our disappointment, we had an editorial meeting to cut McDonald’s some slack.  After all, who would want to go after a giant of an American food chain, right?  

So we justified our disappointment by pointing out that because it was a delivery item that took a good 20 minutes from ordering to arrival, the sandwich was subjected to some steam in that wrapper and brown bag.  Besides, the tartar sauce on the top and bottom sides of the fish plus the warm bun contributed to its sogginess, not to mention the almost melted cheese.  

The weather was in the 90’s so we thought the package heated up more in the thermal bag of the delivery motorcycle.  

So, the moral of the story: Don’t order anything crispylicious for delivery. Show up in person at your nearest McDo. Or so we think.