Atlanta, Georgia – Cable News Network (CNN) has announced that it is acquiring the E (Entertainment) Channel and that it is transitioning out of its normal news content. The announcement came just days after Al Jazeera America debuted on U.S. television sets beginning Tuesday this week. CNN was apparently threatened by the Qatar-owned international news network that boasts of news bureaus around the world, from the Philippines to South Africa. Al Jazeera America promised news programming that is less sensational, less opinionated, more in-depth and more accurate.
CNN’s top officials acknowledged that the network cannot compete with the resources and talent that is being brought into the American market by Al Jazeera television. Additionally ratings after ratings show that the number of CNN viewers in the U.S. have declined over the years, claiming only half the viewership of FOX News which maintains its lead over all the other cable news networks. CNN is second in ratings, followed by Headline News (HLN) and MSNBC.
On the other hand, CNN has found its niche in entertainment television, as shown by its recent coverage of the George Zimmerman trial and the wait for the arrival of England’s Royal baby. The network’s ratings also went up each time it covered celebrity gossips — from Lindsay Lohan to Justin Bieber. CNN also admitted that its political pundits and so-called experts are getting a bit old and tired of doing the same thing, 24 hours a day.
By purchasing the E Channel, CNN expects to recover from its financial losses and gain monopoly of big-time advertisers that usually support Hollywood-type content. CNN is also expected to eventually phase out its sister network, HLN.
Chicago, Illinois – By now, the world knows all about the incident in a Swiss boutique in which Oprah Winfrey had asked to see a $38,000 handbag, but the shop assistant refused to show it to her because it was “too expensive.”
The upscale store was identified as Trois Pommes in Zurich . The manager of the boutique, Trudie Goetz, subsequently told paparazzis that the entire incident was a “200 percent misunderstanding” and had nothing to do with racism.
Winfrey was reportedly concerned but not upset at the incident. To prove her point, she purchased the entire boutique using her American Express Black Centurion Card, also known as the Amex Black Card. It is an invitation-only charge card issued by American Express to platinum card holders after they meet certain criteria. The company’s promotional material describes centurion members as “super-affluent high net worth individuals on a continual quest for the best and most exclusive. They own companies and frequently travel. Exceptionally discerning and style-conscious, they live vicariously through themselves. Centurion members are global players who gain truly worldwide access to the inaccessible.”
The Adobo Chronicles learned that the good-hearted Winfrey, instead of firing the shop clerk identified only as Adriana N, promoted her to assistant manager. “I am sure the incident would be a great learning moment for Adriana,” Winfrey said.
Meanwhile a spokesperson for Winfrey denied rumors that the international celebrity bought the entire country of Switzerland. “She is super-rich, but not THAT rich,” the spokesperson said.
Hollywood, California – Warner Bros. has just confirmed that the sequel to “Man Of Steel” has started filming in Toronto.
Earlier this month, “Man Of Steel” director Zack Snyder revealed at Comic Con that Batman and Superman were set to join forces in this new sequel. The movie will once again star Henry Cavill as Superman – although a new actor is likely to replace Christian Bale as the Dark Knight. Update: Oscar winner Ben Affleck will play the Batman character in the upcoming Superman sequel!
In a surprising announcement, Warner Bros. also said that a third Superhero has been added to this action-packed movie which is expected to hit the theaters in early 2015.
The third lead character will be SuperGay, whose powerful operatic singing voice can sink ships, blow up buldings and practically move mountains. Sources who have reviewed the script tell The Adobo Chronicles that a love triangle ensues in this super adventure. SuperGay falls in love with the good-looking Superman as the three, including Batman, pursue the dark forces that have descended on earth in the city of Metropolitic. The twist happens when SuperGay finds Batman in the locker room after a workout without his mask. Only then does SuperGay find out that Batman was much more good looking than Superman. SuperGay becomes conflicted with his love for Superman and Batman. Our sources refused to reveal how the movie ends to avoid a spoiler.
Openly gay country singer Steve Grand will play the role of SuperGay. In preparation for the role, Grand has taken up intensive opera singing lessons at the Toronto Conservatory of Music.