Welcome to the Philippine Senate, proudly brought to you by Family Plan™!

In this next season of Senate: The Home Edition, we present an ensemble cast: two Tulfos for double the outrage, two Villars for double the housing projects, two Cayetanos for double the debates (and probably double the subtitles), and two Estradas, because Erap’s Legacy: The Sequel simply had to happen.

With one-third of the chamber now resembling a family reunion more than a legislative body, we’re just a few baptisms and kasals away from calling it the House of Representatives, Family Edition. At this point, committee assignments might be decided by who sat next to whom at last Sunday’s lunch.

Truly, nothing says “public service” like hereditary succession and sibling synergy. Who needs political parties when you have family group chats? Tune in next session—same dynastic time, same dynastic channel. Democracy never looked so… inbred.