Ah, campaign promises—the magical spells politicians cast before elections, only to vanish like your crush’s replies after voting day.

Duterte swore he’d crush drugs and corruption in six months. Six years later, the drugs are still there, corruption’s alive and thriving, and the only thing eliminated was our sense of optimism.

Then there’s Bongbong Marcos, who promised P20/kilo rice. It only took him three years, which in politics is practically early. Sure, it’s only available in a few places, but let’s not get picky—we said rice, not where or for whom.

And now, enter Cynthia Villar: queen of land, malls, and allegedly, emotional blackmail. Her vow to take back donated land if voters don’t support her is… bold. A campaign built on threats—why promise hope when you can promise vengeance? Will she fulfill it? Knowing our political plot twists, expect a sitcom, a spin-off, and a Senate hearing before the credits roll.