In a stunning revelation that shook neither Marxists nor Makati elites, Senator Robin Padilla proclaimed he has “always been a socialist.” Naturally, eyebrows rose—mostly from confusion, some from Botox.

The actor-turned-senator, best known for cinematic gun-slinging and Senate daydreaming, released a statement so polished it reeked of ChatGPT with a deadline. “I fight for the masses,” he said, presumably referring to his entourage at a BGC brunch.

Critics wonder if he meant social climber instead, a much more believable title given his meteoric rise from jail cell to jet set. “Socialist” Robin, after all, is often spotted fighting capitalism by dining at five-star restaurants and waving to jeepney drivers from the back of a luxury SUV.

But let’s give him the benefit of the doubt—perhaps his socialism is a method acting role he never dropped. Either way, the revolution will definitely be televised… on his Instagram story.