(Melchor Vergara contributed to this report)

In a last-ditch attempt to save Senator Imee Marcos’ embattled Senate seat, a new political chimera has emerged from the ashes of old alliances: the UNITIM—a fusion of VP Sara Duterte’s grit and Imee’s… well, heritage.

Forget UniTeam. This is Unitim: darker, bolder, and sounding suspiciously like a villainous potion brewed by power-hungry warlocks. With the color palette of doom and slogans that scream “Please don’t let us lose relevance,” the Unitim brand is less campaign, more cry for help. It’s like watching two telenovela villains team up in the finale—only instead of revenge, they’re fighting for committee assignments.

The awkward handshakes, forced smiles, and thinly veiled desperation mark not just a political maneuver, but possibly the opening act of a joint career funeral. If political dynasties had horoscopes, this one would read: “Mercury in retrograde, popularity in freefall. Avoid scandals. And TikTok.”