In a world where strongmen (and women) love their melodrama, Donald Trump and Sara Duterte seem to be soulmates separated by an ocean. 

Recently, Duterte made waves by claiming she has contacted someone to assassinate the First Couple and the House Speaker if anything happened to her—a statement so unhinged, it could’ve been plucked straight from Trump’s Truth Social feed.

Trump, never one to be outdone in the art of self-victimization, declared Iran would assassinate him, as if Tehran has time for a retired reality TV star with 91 felony charges. 

These two share a talent for turning paranoia into political currency, rallying their loyalists with threats of imaginary plots. Perhaps they should form an international alliance—call it the “League of Lunacy.” After all, when the world doesn’t bend to their will, what’s left but conspiracies, chaos, and the ever-reliable assassination fantasy?