In an era where naming rights are as crucial as sovereignty itself, it’s time we address the glaring issue: Why does the Pacific Ocean remain stubbornly unclaimed?

If the Philippines can rename the South China Sea (to West Philippine Sea), and Donald Trump can unilaterally rebrand the Gulf of Mexico (to Gulf of America), why shouldn’t the continents bordering the Pacific stake their rightful claims?

Let’s start with Asia, which could call its portion the Great Eastern Prosperity Waters—guaranteed to boost GDP. North America, ever fond of patriotic branding, might opt for Freedom Sea (with an exclusive defense contract). South America deserves its share—perhaps Mar Pacífico for nostalgia. And Australia? They could go with Big Wet Mate, because why not?

This strategic renaming would eliminate confusion, assert territorial dominance, and, most importantly, give world leaders something new to argue about. After all, why share a single ocean when we can divide and conquer?