Ah, election season! The time when democracy goes into hyperdrive and every marginalized group gets their very own partylist—whether we need it or not. 

Remember when the partylist system was meant for under-represented sectors? Those were the days! Now, it’s a free-for-all, a buffet of causes.

There’s a Kabataan partylist for the youth, so naturally, there must be a Senior Citizen partylist. But what about us, the middle-aged? Who’s going to fight for our midlife crises and backaches?

And the TV networks! Kapamilya has one, and Kapuso is also in! Paging TV5, don’t miss out on the fun. 

With Ang Probinsyano securing a seat, should we expect Ang Batang Quiapo to take over soon? 

The partylist system might double the number of representatives—because why not have more voices shouting over each other in Congress.

But wait, we’ve got a dark horse in the running: Diwata Pares Overload’s Food Vendors Partylist. At last, food vendors will have a seat at the table. But food customers, don’t just sit there! No more silent suffering through overpriced, subpar pares. Stand up, fellow diners, and demand your right to affordable street food!

Lest we forget, there is a Nanay Partylist. Where are the Tatays? And since we have a Bicol Partylist, shouldn’t the rest of the provinces — all 81 of them — step up and be recognized?