Ah, the Dutertocracy – where governance takes a backseat to cursing, kissing women on stage, and punching sheriffs. In this thrilling new political genre, we witness the evolution of “public service,” where bravado is king, and tact is just for the weak. It’s a family affair, of course. Like father, like children: Sara with her strong-arm mayoral tactics, Paolo with his murky financial dealings, and Baste, well, he’s still figuring out which part of the script he plays. 

But the real gem here? The Dutertes’ unwavering belief that the rules don’t apply to them. Why should they? After all, they’ve perfected their oligarchic rule in Davao, and clearly, what works in one city must work for the entire country, right? Laws? Just suggestions. Checks and balances? Mere inconveniences. Welcome to the Philippines’ latest political dynasty – where accountability is optional, and audacity is the new leadership style.