In a truly heartwarming twist of fate, 22 Filipino athletes became instant millionaires—not by sheer luck in the lottery, but by the grace of President Bongbong Marcos, who, in a grand ceremony at Malacañang, handed out checks like they were certificates of attendance in a conference.

These athletes, fresh from the Paris Olympics, were lauded not for the number of medals they brought home but for the opportunity to bask in the presidential spotlight. Some say it’s a win-win: the athletes get a taste of the good life, and the government gets to bask in their reflected glory. 

Who needs gold medals when you can cash in on presidential generosity? After all, it’s not every day that one gets rewarded for simply showing up—and in the Philippines, that’s the real victory. Forget the Olympics; this is the kind of gold that really counts!