In a shocking twist, Vice President Sara Duterte has to make do with less than a measly 433 bodyguards after the scandalous withdrawal of 75 police officers.

This tragic reduction leaves her with a little less than the combined security of Pope Francis and King Charles including his entire Royal Family. How will she manage?

Is she guarding state secrets, or perhaps a special recipe for adobo? The Philippines must be the world’s most dangerous place for a vice president.

While the Pope strolls through crowds with a mere 135 guards, and the British royals sleep soundly with 185, Duterte faces her nation’s grocery stores, ribbon cuttings and funerals with an almost laughable 433 protectors.

This cutback surely jeopardizes national security — or at least the nation’s supply of ‘manananggal’ repellent. Indeed, only in the Philippines could such a reduction be seen as an existential threat.