Forget “Marites” — she’s so last season. Enter “Lourdes,” the fresh face of Philippine political drama, brought to you by Senators Nancy Binay and Allan Peter Cayetano.

If you thought spreading juicy gossip was the peak of societal contribution, think again. “Lourdes” takes center stage in a gripping sequel where the plot revolves around undercutting costs, like the P23 billion new Senate building.

Picture this: an intense Senate hearing, accusations flying, and Binay’s dramatic exit. In this riveting saga, everyone’s an accountant, but no one’s seen a calculator since high school. “Lourdes” isn’t just about lowering figures; it’s about lowering the bar for public discourse.

So, next time you hear whispers of scandal, remember: it’s not about the gossip anymore. It’s about the numbers. Just make sure they’re low enough to fit the narrative.